The Legacy of an Absent Father

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers and those who have faithfully served as fathers to others. There is no more important role than being a father. For the last 28 years, I have devoted myself to being a dad. My father died when I was two years old. I can't remember him at all. Growing up without a dad caused an irreparable ache that dulled at times but never left my heart as a boy. His absence negatively impacted me in ways that still seem to unfold themselves even today. There is no doubt that growing up without a dad is infinitely more difficult than having a loving dad in your life.

Through the years, there were men who, in different seasons, provided fatherly advice, correction, encouragement, and modeling. They will never know how much it meant to me and how they positively contributed to my future. My first and most powerful interaction with the Lord as a young man was at the age of 15 when God spoke to me as a Father and promised to never forsake me, never abandon me. He knew my deepest fears before I knew how to give voice to them. He has surely shown Himself faithful to me throughout my nearly 49 years. And now I can look back and see that these difficult childhood realities also created many good things in my heart--including a compassionate heart for the fatherless, a deep desire to make a way for those in need, and a calling to ensure young people are nurtured and cared for in a safe environment. Surely God does turn our mourning into dancing and resolves all darkness into light. He promises that He works together "all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes." (Romans 8:28)

From the time I was a boy, I looked forward to becoming a husband and a father. I was committed to being the best father I could be in raising my own family. I wanted to be present, I wanted to be fun, and I wanted to provide my children the stability and opportunities I longed for as a boy. I also wanted to raise them in a home where our faith was central and see them build their lives upon the foundation of God's word, and to become authentic followers of Christ. Of course, the path hasn't been perfect! In my deficiencies, at times I was too strict, too much of a perfectionist, and simply fell short. In spite of my blind spots or failures, God's grace abounds. This is another reason children desperately need a God-fearing mom and dad in their home. What one lacks, the other can provide and mitigate. Certainly, Jessica had to mitigate my shortcomings many times.

Being a dad has been the greatest honor of my life. It really is true that nothing knows the depths of love like being a father. I have a deep and unrelenting love for my children, even with three of them now grown. Camping, recitals, gymnastic meets, vacations, dress up, silly songs and silly poems, homemade cards, snow ice cream, Saturday breakfast, trampoline time, basketball games, family meals, farm days, horses, cows, gardens, homemade pies, fried chicken, time in the pool, ski trips, beach days, fancy dinners, music-lip sync concerts in the living room, parodies, storytelling, bookreading, snuggles, pictures galore, laughter, school work, new adventures, driving, graduations, college, worship, thousands of prayers, special trips, late-night talks, and wedding days have made up the majority of my life now. They're all tied to fatherhood. It has been the biggest role of my life and one I treasure.

As my children grow up, it brings both sentiment and reflection. Today I have my first Father's Day without all of my children here together. Yet if we look around, we can see that there are young lives surrounding us that need our presence, our care, and our investment. Children, teenagers, and young adults need mentors, help, correction, encouragement, and support. The need for generational impartation cannot be overstated.

I love that at Legacy Academy, students can find love, support, help, encouragement, and godly role models to support the good work of their parents and to help fill in a gap when necessary. To every dad reading this, your life and your investment with your children matter more than you can ever imagine. You will fail and be imperfect. Your children don't need perfect--they need you. They need your time, focus, attention, investment, effort, admonition, counsel, forgiveness, humility, strength, support, laughter, and friendship. They need you to fight for them. They need you to value them enough to stand up to them. They need you.

Thank you, Dads. Your work matters. And on this Father's Day, I am thankful that the absence of a father in my life drove me to Christ and crafted in me the heart of a father. It is a beautiful thing when we can see the sovereign hand of a loving God turn our sorrows into rich blessings. In the days to come, may we all make an extra effort to notice those in need, be aware of those without proper fathering in their lives, and show the love and care of our Heavenly Father to those around us.

Chad Gallagher, with his wife Jessica, is the founder of Legacy Academy.